I don't know if anyone has been following the Guardian's Comment is Free - Belief series where Adam Rutherford (an editor of Nature journal) has been attending an Alpha course and writing up his reflections. Adam is a convinced atheist, but he has a fairly good understanding of Christianity, and he gives a fascinating and fair appraisal of the course, whilst remaining utterly unpersuaded.
Anyhoo, this week, instead of going on the Holy Spirit away day, he goes and interviews Nicky Gumbel. The whole thing is interesting, but one bit that jumped out at me was where Nicky says the following -
'This may sound pernickety but I wouldn't describe myself as an evangelical. These are labels, which I don't think are helpful. If I was going to use any label it would be Christian, and if you push me any further I'd say I'm an Anglican - that's the family of the Church that I belong to. There's nothing wrong with any of the other labels, but if you have any of them I want them all. If you're going to say, 'I'm Catholic, liberal, evangelical…' let's have them all. But I wouldn't want to isolate one of those. Personally I think labels are terribly unhelpful because they enable you to dismiss things.'
So there you have it. Nicky Gumbel, perhaps one of the most influential people in 'the evangelical' world, says he wouldn't describe himself as an evangelical.
This is pretty much where I am. Labels such as 'evangelical' have become unhelpful, if not completely meaningless. To those outside the church, 'evangelical' either mean nothing, or it means 'fundamentalist'. To those inside, again, it either means 'fundamentalist' (to those on the liberal/progressive/radical wing) or it leads to endless and tedious discussions of 'what sort of evangelical' you are (open or conservative, charismatic or not) etc, etc. Typically, this search for increasing definition is, as Nicky says, either so you can be dismissed, or so you can be proved to be not evangelical enough or the wrong stripe of evangelical.
So I am a Christian. I realise this 'label' has its own baggage, but it's good enough for me. If pushed further I would say I am a stumbling, faultering, trying to be follower of Jesus. Somewhere down the line, I am an Anglican. I am glad to see I am in the company of such a wonderful and humble Christian man as Nicky Gumbel.
See the full transcript of the interview here
Friday, August 28, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Wrestling with Retribution
For my research I have somehow ended up focussing on 2 Thessalonians. My actual title is going to be something like 'A Critical Examination of the Significance of the Roman Imperial Order as a Background to II Thessalonians'. Basically I am going to look at the three main issues in the letter, steadfastness under persecution, eschatological teaching about the "man of lawlessness", and the issue of idleness, and examine them all with the imperial cult and imperial patronage as a background. I have done a general literature survey on the imperial cult, and am now researching the history of Thessalonica with this in mind.
Anyway, in the process of reading the letter, and working through the commentaries, I am realising that 2 Thessalonians in one of the most unpleasant and difficult books of the New Testament, if not the bible, and I am struggling with it, and to be honest it is getting me down. Why so? Well, for a Pauline letter (if indeed it is by Paul, which is a major question) it has few of the key Pauline themes, there is no mention of the cross, or resurrection, there is very little grace, no discussion of the Spirit and salvation seems to be expressed entirely in future terms of escaping the wrath which is about to fall. What there is a good dose of, on the other hand, is retribution.
Paul (or whoever) writes 'For it is indeed just if God to repay with affliction those who afflict you.' (1.6) Here it seems clear that Paul is writing to comfort and encourage the Thessalonians with the thought that those who are persecuting them will get what's coming to them, their just deserts as it were. So far, so good. However, he goes on to say that this will happen 'when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven with his mighty angels in flaming fire, inflicting vengeance on those who do not know God and on those who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. These will suffer the punishment of eternal destruction, separated from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might.' (1:7b-9)
Here, many commentators move from seeing Paul giving a description of those persecutors (they don't know God and have not obeyed the gospel) to seeing a universal condemnation of the vast swathes of humanity that are outside the church. Furthermore, most commentators are at pains to explain that the 'punishment of eternal destruction' cannot mean annhilation, but is referring to a conscious punishment and devastation which is everlasting in duration. This is a move which, as you can imagine, I am not comfortable with.
Bear in mind that the Thessalonian church was probably tiny at this stage. Estimates range between 25 and 75 members. The population of Thessalonica was probably around 100, 000. Is Paul really saying that God has chosen this tiny elect, less than 0.1%, for salvation, whilst the 99.9% (most of whom will clearly have never heard the gospel) are to suffer the vengeful wrath of God for all eternity? Was Paul really this myopic?
One perspective that may help is the correlation between apocalyptic and persecution/social alienation. Paul's teaching here is certainly apocalyptic in style, with its dualisms of heaven and earth, present and future, the elect and the lost. When this worldview is combined with a situation of social alienation and persecution, the context and the theology reinforce one another. The closest parallel in the New Testament is probably the book of Revelation. This was also probably written in a situation of persecution (interestingly, almost certainly connected to the imperial cult) and is full of colourful and lurid language of vengeance. So I need to unpack how the language is being used in 2 Thessalonians. Is it hyperbole? Is it literal? How should we interpret this extreme language of vengeance and eternal destruction?
Rather than being the basis of a doctrine of eternal conscious torment for 99.9% of humanity, I think it is far more likely that Paul is wanting to stress to the Thessalonians, in the strongest possible terms, that there will be a great reversal - those who are suffering persecution now will be granted relief, and those who are doing the persecuting will get what's coming to them.
There is another thought that I struggle with though. I can understand how, on one level, it is comforting for those who are being persecuted, to contemplate the future punishment of their tormentors. But, I would like to think (and here I am probably being naive and showing that I've never experienced persecution) that I could try and cultivate the attitude of Christ, who said 'Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you'. He after all, when he was undergoing the ultimate persecution, prayed for his torturers and murderers 'Father forgive them, they know not what they do.' On the face of it, there doesn't seem to be too much of this attitude exemplified in 2 Thessalonians. In the first letter, however, Paul does instruct them to 'abound in love for each other and for all' and to 'see that none of you repays evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to all'
So there you are, my current struggles. If you're the praying type, then please pray for me as I try to study, understand, and be faithful to the scriptures. It's not always easy.
Anyway, in the process of reading the letter, and working through the commentaries, I am realising that 2 Thessalonians in one of the most unpleasant and difficult books of the New Testament, if not the bible, and I am struggling with it, and to be honest it is getting me down. Why so? Well, for a Pauline letter (if indeed it is by Paul, which is a major question) it has few of the key Pauline themes, there is no mention of the cross, or resurrection, there is very little grace, no discussion of the Spirit and salvation seems to be expressed entirely in future terms of escaping the wrath which is about to fall. What there is a good dose of, on the other hand, is retribution.
Paul (or whoever) writes 'For it is indeed just if God to repay with affliction those who afflict you.' (1.6) Here it seems clear that Paul is writing to comfort and encourage the Thessalonians with the thought that those who are persecuting them will get what's coming to them, their just deserts as it were. So far, so good. However, he goes on to say that this will happen 'when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven with his mighty angels in flaming fire, inflicting vengeance on those who do not know God and on those who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. These will suffer the punishment of eternal destruction, separated from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might.' (1:7b-9)
Here, many commentators move from seeing Paul giving a description of those persecutors (they don't know God and have not obeyed the gospel) to seeing a universal condemnation of the vast swathes of humanity that are outside the church. Furthermore, most commentators are at pains to explain that the 'punishment of eternal destruction' cannot mean annhilation, but is referring to a conscious punishment and devastation which is everlasting in duration. This is a move which, as you can imagine, I am not comfortable with.
Bear in mind that the Thessalonian church was probably tiny at this stage. Estimates range between 25 and 75 members. The population of Thessalonica was probably around 100, 000. Is Paul really saying that God has chosen this tiny elect, less than 0.1%, for salvation, whilst the 99.9% (most of whom will clearly have never heard the gospel) are to suffer the vengeful wrath of God for all eternity? Was Paul really this myopic?
One perspective that may help is the correlation between apocalyptic and persecution/social alienation. Paul's teaching here is certainly apocalyptic in style, with its dualisms of heaven and earth, present and future, the elect and the lost. When this worldview is combined with a situation of social alienation and persecution, the context and the theology reinforce one another. The closest parallel in the New Testament is probably the book of Revelation. This was also probably written in a situation of persecution (interestingly, almost certainly connected to the imperial cult) and is full of colourful and lurid language of vengeance. So I need to unpack how the language is being used in 2 Thessalonians. Is it hyperbole? Is it literal? How should we interpret this extreme language of vengeance and eternal destruction?
Rather than being the basis of a doctrine of eternal conscious torment for 99.9% of humanity, I think it is far more likely that Paul is wanting to stress to the Thessalonians, in the strongest possible terms, that there will be a great reversal - those who are suffering persecution now will be granted relief, and those who are doing the persecuting will get what's coming to them.
There is another thought that I struggle with though. I can understand how, on one level, it is comforting for those who are being persecuted, to contemplate the future punishment of their tormentors. But, I would like to think (and here I am probably being naive and showing that I've never experienced persecution) that I could try and cultivate the attitude of Christ, who said 'Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you'. He after all, when he was undergoing the ultimate persecution, prayed for his torturers and murderers 'Father forgive them, they know not what they do.' On the face of it, there doesn't seem to be too much of this attitude exemplified in 2 Thessalonians. In the first letter, however, Paul does instruct them to 'abound in love for each other and for all' and to 'see that none of you repays evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to all'
So there you are, my current struggles. If you're the praying type, then please pray for me as I try to study, understand, and be faithful to the scriptures. It's not always easy.
Update
Well, as is my habit, I've had a bit of a hiatus from blogging. Just one of the things that's had to go on the back burner since Emily came along. Thought I'd better get back into it though, so here we are. My main news is that I've found out that I've been successful in my application to stay on at college for another 2 years in order to upgrade my MPhil to PhD. This is a huge privilege and I am extremely grateful for the opportunity. I do have that nagging feeling that one day I'm going to be found out, and they will discover what a doofus I really am!
It is great for us as a family to be able to stay where we are in Bristol for the time being. We have a lovely little house and it's a fantastic place for the kids to be at this stage. I'm getting the chance to do something which a few years ago was only a vague dream, and I hope that I'll be able to make the most of it. It has dawned on my though, now that I have my funding, that I have a huge amount of work to do, which is quite scary. I am conscious of the fact that the church has invested a huge amount in me and failure is not an option. Studying full time at this level is an incredible honour which I hope I won't take for granted. Having said that, it does come with its own struggles which I intend to blog about next.
It is great for us as a family to be able to stay where we are in Bristol for the time being. We have a lovely little house and it's a fantastic place for the kids to be at this stage. I'm getting the chance to do something which a few years ago was only a vague dream, and I hope that I'll be able to make the most of it. It has dawned on my though, now that I have my funding, that I have a huge amount of work to do, which is quite scary. I am conscious of the fact that the church has invested a huge amount in me and failure is not an option. Studying full time at this level is an incredible honour which I hope I won't take for granted. Having said that, it does come with its own struggles which I intend to blog about next.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Emily Rachel
Isn't she lovely
Isn't she wonderfull
Isn't she precious
Less than one minute old
I never thought through love we'd be
Making one as lovely as she
But isn't she lovely made from love
Isn't she pretty
Truly the angel's best
Boy, I'm so happy
We have been heaven blessed
I can't believe what God has done
through us he's given life to one
But isn't she lovely made from love
I said I'd break my internet fast to bring news of our new arrival, so here she is. Emily Rachel was born on 26th March, which was the day after her due date. Su woke up with a start at 1.00 as her waters broke. We called our friend Mary, who came round to look after William. The contractions started at 6 minute intervals. We called the birthing suite at Southmead, who told us to call back when they were every 4 or 5 minutes. As soon as we put the phone down, they were every 3 minutes, so off we went. We arrived at the birthing suite at about 2.55am. At 3.26am Emily arrived! A less that 2.5 hours labour!
Emily weighed 9lbs9oz! Being such a healthy size, she caused a third degree tear on the way out, which I won't go into, but let's just say it's not very nice. Su had to have a spinal block and go into theatre for a repair job. This meant she had to stay in hospital for an extra night, which is a shame, but she's doing really well now. We brought Emily home this evening and William loves her to bits. I am so proud of my amazing wife Su and my wonderful daughter Emily. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Lent Internet Fast
So I've been thinking about what to give up for Lent. Whilst I'm well up for the whole idea of taking things on for Lent rather than the whole sackcloth and ashes thing, I do still think there is a real place for fasting, and Lent is a good time to do it. Fasting is supposed to be giving something up as a spiritual discipline for God. It is saying to God, I need you and want you more than this thing. It is not meant to be easy, because this would be no discipline at all. I think for me, the most difficult thing to give up at the moment is the internet; more difficult than chocolate, or alcohol, or TV, or coffee (ok, maybe not coffee). So for the next 40 days, not including the Sundays (I'll have to think about Sundays) I will not be using the internet, except for strictly academic research purposes. So that means no blogging, no facebook, no Twitter, no BBC iplayer, no BBC news, no Youtube, no nothing. This is going to be rock hard for me, 'cos I love the internet. I practically live on it. When we have been away to Su's dad's or somewhere, when the broadband has been down, it has been a nightmare for me. I even take my laptop to bed with me. Which is probably why it's time to have a break. What am I going to do for my quick fix of news, for that random blog entry, for that stupid video? What will I do with my time? I may even have to start talking to my wife again :)
There will be one exception to this internet fast. When our second child arrives, at some point during the next 4 weeks or so, I will of course let the world know, and get some piccies up. But this, hopefully, will be the only break in the fast (like I say, apart from academic articles relevant to my research). Wish me luck. Signing off.
There will be one exception to this internet fast. When our second child arrives, at some point during the next 4 weeks or so, I will of course let the world know, and get some piccies up. But this, hopefully, will be the only break in the fast (like I say, apart from academic articles relevant to my research). Wish me luck. Signing off.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Sunday, February 01, 2009
My understanding of the Gospel
I was looking through my application for my Church of England Bishop's Advisory Panel Selection Conference (snappy I know) today and I came across this. The question was 'Summarise the most important elements of your own Christian faith. Why are they important to you? What is at the heart of the good news you want to share with other people?' My answer could be accused of being somewhat 'Wrightian' but it is still a fair summary of what I believe:
Amongst the most important elements of my Christian faith are: a sense of being loved by God, of being forgiven, of a peace with God which leads to peace with other people, a sense of meaning and purpose in life, a hope and a future, a belief of being called by God to participate with Him in his putting the world to rights, renewing and redeeming all of creation. These elements are important to me because they have changed my life, they help me make sense of the world, and I believe they are based on truth.
My current understanding of the gospel is as follows:
God the creator has given us all good things to enjoy and look after. However, we have taken these things, and rather than enjoying them with thanksgiving, we have turned them into idols, worshiping the creation, rather than the creator. We become like what we worship, so that, rather than becoming image-of-God-bearing fully alive, whole human beings, we have marred God’s image and become broken, dehumanised slaves to sin, subject to death. All of humanity and indeed all creation has been affected by this rejection of their creator. The good news is that in the life, teaching, death and resurrection of Jesus, God was reconciling the world to himself, winning a decisive victory over the powers of darkness, sin and death. This gospel is the message of God’s inbreaking kingdom (rule), which has begun through what Christ has done, continues through the work of the Spirit, and will one day be complete. Its announcement in word and deed, challenges all other would-be rulers, and demands a response of the obedience of faith, or rejection. The good news is not an invitation to have a new religious experience, or to follow a new moral code, but the message that Jesus, the crucified messiah of Israel, is the risen Lord of all who now reigns. The resurrection of Jesus, was the 1st day of God’s new creation, and the promise of God’s future renewal of all creation. In the mean time, in the power of the Holy Spirit, the people of God work and pray and announce the message in anticipation of that day when evil is destroyed and God’s reign of justice and peace is complete.
This is a big picture overview of the multi-faceted gospel. The results for the individual who accepts this message are the love, forgiveness, peace, purpose, hope and future I mentioned above. How I share this news with other people will depend on their context.
Amongst the most important elements of my Christian faith are: a sense of being loved by God, of being forgiven, of a peace with God which leads to peace with other people, a sense of meaning and purpose in life, a hope and a future, a belief of being called by God to participate with Him in his putting the world to rights, renewing and redeeming all of creation. These elements are important to me because they have changed my life, they help me make sense of the world, and I believe they are based on truth.
My current understanding of the gospel is as follows:
God the creator has given us all good things to enjoy and look after. However, we have taken these things, and rather than enjoying them with thanksgiving, we have turned them into idols, worshiping the creation, rather than the creator. We become like what we worship, so that, rather than becoming image-of-God-bearing fully alive, whole human beings, we have marred God’s image and become broken, dehumanised slaves to sin, subject to death. All of humanity and indeed all creation has been affected by this rejection of their creator. The good news is that in the life, teaching, death and resurrection of Jesus, God was reconciling the world to himself, winning a decisive victory over the powers of darkness, sin and death. This gospel is the message of God’s inbreaking kingdom (rule), which has begun through what Christ has done, continues through the work of the Spirit, and will one day be complete. Its announcement in word and deed, challenges all other would-be rulers, and demands a response of the obedience of faith, or rejection. The good news is not an invitation to have a new religious experience, or to follow a new moral code, but the message that Jesus, the crucified messiah of Israel, is the risen Lord of all who now reigns. The resurrection of Jesus, was the 1st day of God’s new creation, and the promise of God’s future renewal of all creation. In the mean time, in the power of the Holy Spirit, the people of God work and pray and announce the message in anticipation of that day when evil is destroyed and God’s reign of justice and peace is complete.
This is a big picture overview of the multi-faceted gospel. The results for the individual who accepts this message are the love, forgiveness, peace, purpose, hope and future I mentioned above. How I share this news with other people will depend on their context.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Tom Wright on the Resurrection, Heaven and Hell
Some great little clips here of Bishop Tom responding to questions on Resurrection, Heaven and Hell.
It is his comments on hell that I am interested in here. I have long struggled with the concept of hell, at least in it's traditional form. I fail to see how so many Christians throughout history, have so easily accepted this idea, at the same time as believing that God is love. The gospel, so often, has been presented as a 'bait and switch'. God loves you unconditionally and wants a relationship with you, and for you to have fullness of life (oh, and by the way, if you decide to reject his love, he will punish you forever in hell.).
Anyway, I think Tom's thoughts are helpful, although I lean more myself towards annihilationism.
He rejects the traditional notion of heaven and hell as two separate 'places' of post-mortem destination. This, he argues, is more of a medieval picture than a biblical one.
On the other hand, he rejects universalism, although he admits there is part of him that wishes it were the case. But he also does not go along with annihilationism. He maintains that those who have determinedly rejected God and his offer of salvation, will become dehumanised to the extent that they will cease to be human. This is not really a place, as in the new creation, God will be all in all, but it is rather a state. (this, he suggests in one anecdote, is more akin to the eastern orthodox view).
He admits that this is a dreadful fate which he doesn't like to contemplate or speculate too much on, but that the choices we make do have real consequences. He doesn't like talking about it, because he is aware of many people, who by appearances seem to have chosen this option. It is, he admits, a terrifying possibility.
He places the emphasis firmly on the choice of the individuals who end up in this state, not in some divine decree or even in punishment. In this sense he follows C.S. Lewis who said that the door of hell is locked on the inside. Those who end up in this state have chosen it for themselves. (I don't know, if pushed, if he would have some way of marrying this with a sense of God's sovereignty in salvation, but the emphasis is definitely squarely on the person's choice here). The idea that God, from all eternity, has determined those who, with no other possible option, will end up in hell is (in my admittedly limited and fallen opinion) a diabolical doctrine. The corollary of this emphasis on the choice of the individual (in my logical conclusion) is that everyone will get a meaningful opportunity to make this decision.
Whilst it may be possible to argue with Wright, or critique him on various points, I think his overall emphasis is helpful.
-He takes the possiblility of final loss seriously.
-He doesn't speculate on the details or on exactly who ends up in this state, other than those who persist in rejecting God and 'colluding in their own dehumanisation'
-It is not the main emphasis of his gospel.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Second Week of College
The first 'normal' week at college after the superb 'plenary' week. I don't feel like I achieved an awful lot workwise. I did however finish off Seyoon Kim's Christ and Caesar which is a fairly substantial critique of the 'fresh perspective on Paul'. Should I just give up my research now? Well, not quite, but I can certainly see ways in which my work is going to have to be nuanced. I submitted an abstract for the Bristol University theology post-grad conference. That should give me an incentive to get some work done if nothing else does.
This week I started learning Hebrew again, taught by AJ Culp, another post-grad here at Trinity. Amazing how much I had forgotten, but it is coming back to me now and it is lots of fun. If I could be paid to learn Hebrew and Greek and research stuff that I'm interested in I'd be a happy man...wait a minute - that is what I'm being paid to do. So that's why I'm applying to stay on another two years. Sent off a few letters for funding this week, but need to do lots more.
I also got the Trinity Media blog up and running which I'm pretty chuffed with.
Finished off the week with a session @ Shirehampton Working Men's Club (now there's an irony) with the lads, then hanging out with the Barnes and the Swales on Saturday, topped off with a Chinese takeaway at our place.
A bit concerned that our house in Coventry is going to cost us a fair bit to get the electrics and stuff sorted out ready for the new tennants, but hey, at least we've got some new tennants.
All in all, a good week.
This week I started learning Hebrew again, taught by AJ Culp, another post-grad here at Trinity. Amazing how much I had forgotten, but it is coming back to me now and it is lots of fun. If I could be paid to learn Hebrew and Greek and research stuff that I'm interested in I'd be a happy man...wait a minute - that is what I'm being paid to do. So that's why I'm applying to stay on another two years. Sent off a few letters for funding this week, but need to do lots more.
I also got the Trinity Media blog up and running which I'm pretty chuffed with.
Finished off the week with a session @ Shirehampton Working Men's Club (now there's an irony) with the lads, then hanging out with the Barnes and the Swales on Saturday, topped off with a Chinese takeaway at our place.
A bit concerned that our house in Coventry is going to cost us a fair bit to get the electrics and stuff sorted out ready for the new tennants, but hey, at least we've got some new tennants.
All in all, a good week.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Eddie Gibbs - Plenary Week
First week back at college after Christmas break. I have to say I wasn't really looking forward to it but as it happens it has been fantastic. We have had a plenary week on 'Transformation Leadership' with Eddie Gibbs from Fuller Theological Seminary. Well, what a week! I can honestly say that I think this has been the best and most inspiring week since I started at Trinity. (sorry Jon, who was ill for most of it)
Eddie is an amazing guy. He is 70 years old and yet he absolutely has his finger on the pulse both in terms of the trends that are occurring in society and the various ways the church is (or ought to be) responding.
He was very inspiring to listen to because he is not only switched on, but so full of the grace and joy of the Lord. At the same time he was prophetic in speaking to the problems of the church and yet remains hopeful and is not into deconstruction but positive change .
He was a personal friend of John Wimber. He told us the story of when he visited the snake handling pentecostal church with Wimber. I had always heard that story go round, but Eddie was actually there. He reminded me a lot of my Vineyard days and church planting and why I signed up for this whole thing in the first place.
You can listen to the talks and view his powerpoint slides at the new Trinity Media blog
Eddie is an amazing guy. He is 70 years old and yet he absolutely has his finger on the pulse both in terms of the trends that are occurring in society and the various ways the church is (or ought to be) responding.
He was very inspiring to listen to because he is not only switched on, but so full of the grace and joy of the Lord. At the same time he was prophetic in speaking to the problems of the church and yet remains hopeful and is not into deconstruction but positive change .
He was a personal friend of John Wimber. He told us the story of when he visited the snake handling pentecostal church with Wimber. I had always heard that story go round, but Eddie was actually there. He reminded me a lot of my Vineyard days and church planting and why I signed up for this whole thing in the first place.
You can listen to the talks and view his powerpoint slides at the new Trinity Media blog
Monday, January 12, 2009
Trinity Media
I've been helping to set up a new blog for Trinity college:
Trinity-Media.org.uk
On this blog we will make available recorded talks, sermons and seminars given at Trinity College as downloadable mp3 files.
This content may also be subscribed to as a podcast.
Click on the following link to subscribe.
Subscribe to Trinity Media
New Year - New Diary
An entry I wrote in my diary just after new year -
Well, it's the end of one year and the start of a new one. A time for reflection and for looking forward and time to start a new diary. I thought I'd go for one of these fancy moleskin ones (I must be becoming a vicar by osmosis, because looking around at college, everyone seems to have one of these now), with the idea being that I might actually use it. I have been so disorganised this year at college, which I put down to 'death by paper.' In the end I began to just ignore the many and various bits of paper that arrived in my pigeon hole, and hence I missed a few appointments. This year, as well as the diary I have a triple back up system - iCal, google calendars, and the calendar on my phone (oh, and on my iPod as well) all synced and with various alarm systems, so I've got no excuses.
In 2008 I began running, which I love. I've lost about a stone and I feel a lot better for it. I decided to pursue a PhD, rather than get ordained in 2009 and start a curacy. This both excites me and fills me with dread, although not as much dread as being a vicar. This year at college, I have felt a bit less full of self doubt, although this does go up and down. Towards Christmas I felt a bit out of things (e.g. college green, pastoral group etc) simply because we had so many weekends away. This year we should be around more, not least because our second baby is due on March 25th! Looking forward to this obviously but a bit nervous about fitting in all the work I will have to do, including all the application forms for funding. Should definitely be an exciting year though!
Well, it's the end of one year and the start of a new one. A time for reflection and for looking forward and time to start a new diary. I thought I'd go for one of these fancy moleskin ones (I must be becoming a vicar by osmosis, because looking around at college, everyone seems to have one of these now), with the idea being that I might actually use it. I have been so disorganised this year at college, which I put down to 'death by paper.' In the end I began to just ignore the many and various bits of paper that arrived in my pigeon hole, and hence I missed a few appointments. This year, as well as the diary I have a triple back up system - iCal, google calendars, and the calendar on my phone (oh, and on my iPod as well) all synced and with various alarm systems, so I've got no excuses.
In 2008 I began running, which I love. I've lost about a stone and I feel a lot better for it. I decided to pursue a PhD, rather than get ordained in 2009 and start a curacy. This both excites me and fills me with dread, although not as much dread as being a vicar. This year at college, I have felt a bit less full of self doubt, although this does go up and down. Towards Christmas I felt a bit out of things (e.g. college green, pastoral group etc) simply because we had so many weekends away. This year we should be around more, not least because our second baby is due on March 25th! Looking forward to this obviously but a bit nervous about fitting in all the work I will have to do, including all the application forms for funding. Should definitely be an exciting year though!
Monday, December 29, 2008
Changeling
Su and I had some Odeon vouchers to be used up by the end of the year, so last night we took advantage of the ready made babysitting facility at Granny's house and went to see Changeling.
This Clint Eastwood directed film tells the true story of a single mother, Christine Collins, whose son goes missing one day. Several months later the LAPD produce a boy who claims to be her son, but she knows that it is not him. What ensues is stranger than fiction, and all the more disturbing because you know that it's true. A gripping tale of police corruption, the disempowerment of women, serial killing, and a mother's detemination. The film is like a cross between L.A. Confidential, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, and Silence of the Lambs. Angelina Jolie's performace is amazing, and she must surely be in line for the Best Actress oscar. John Malkovich also puts in an excellent supporting role as a Presbyterian minister who campaigns on behalf of Collins. Eastwood's direction is understated and allows the story to speak for itself, I was captivated right through to the end. Well worth a watch. See a trailer here
5/5
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Ouch!
As someone who has already made at least 2 trips to Cribs Causeway and still has lots of presents to buy, and also as someone who is quite partial to receiving nice new toys at Christmas, this video makes uncomfortable and challenging viewing, but it's right. On one side of my family we have got into the habit of only buying each other gifts such as Oxfam Unwrapped but on the other side, who are not believers, it would be hard to do this without appearing stingy and joyless. They always buy us nice presents and it would seem a bit tight not to reciprocate. How can we get the balance right?
ht: Bishop Alan
ht: Bishop Alan
Friday, November 21, 2008
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
A Historic Moment
Can’t help but be excited by the election result. Congratulations Barack Obama, and congratulations America.
The world breathes a sigh of relief. I stayed up until about 3am to watch, when Ohio was announced for Obama and it was clear that he was going to win. Although I believe this is a hopeful development, of course Obama is not the messiah. He cannot possibly live up to the expectations and the huge desire for change. He will make mistakes, and compromises and much will remain the same. Their will be backlashes, and ‘I told you so’s and disappointments. But for now let's celebrate the historic moment that this is, and let's pray for Obama, and his incoming administration, and for the great nation of the USA.
Here is a list of some of the policies that I believe offer hope for the world - (from avaaz) ht: Peter Kirk
Let’s pray for wisdom and perseverance for Obama as he pursues these goals.
Writing
I wish I could write. I don’t mean I wish I could write well, I mean I wish I could write. I go for long periods, as a glance at my blog would prove, when I don’t feel able to put any words out that might be worth reading. To say that I get ‘writer’s block’ would make it sound a bit grand because I am not in any sense a writer. The fact is though, that I find writing incredibly difficult. Or I should say, most of the time I find writing difficult. Now this is particularly a problem, given the path that I have chosen to follow (or been chosen to follow): training to be a vicar, and as part of that training, and with a view to teaching at some point in time, a particular academic route which involves not a small amount of writing. (I am currently pursuing an MPhil in New Testament studies, with aspirations to take it further and upgrade to a PhD).
I do have a passion for study. I love reading, and I could read and read and read until the cows come home. I take copious amounts of notes, and stroke my chin, and ponder, and think, but when it comes to putting my fingers on the keyboard and opening up that blank document and actually beginning to put down my own thoughts, I almost invariably struggle. I say almost invariably because there are moments, all too rare, and usually last minute, driven by deadlines, when I can knuckle down and knock out a few thousand words. Come to think of it, I must have knocked out getting on for 100,000 words or so over the last 5 years or so. And, if I’m honest, for most of those words I have had pretty good feedback, reasonable grades etc. So why do I still find it so difficult?
I think there are two main contributing factors. The first, and by far the biggest, is confidence. Or lack of. In the same way I often find it difficult to articulate myself in speaking, if I’m in a group I’m quite often likely to be one of the quieter members, I tend to have to think quite carefully about what I want to say, or write, rather than just ‘let it flow’. I still struggle with preaching, although I’ve done it many times, I always get incredibly nervous. I sweat over the preparation, struggle to focus on anything else for about a week before, and generally cack it until it’s delivered. I think there is something psychological which goes on where I become more concerned with the fact that I am supposed to come up with the words, than with focussing on just getting on with speaking or writing.
The second main factor is lack of focus. Whether it’s blogs, email, websites, other books that I’m reading or whatever, there are always a million and one things which clamour for my attention. I know this is the same for everyone these days. We have a short attention span, or rather, we have a broad attention span. Writing takes focus, and it takes discipline, both of which I have in short supply. What can be done about this?
One practice that has been recommended to me is ‘freewriting’. That is, just practising writing, for set amounts of time, not worrying too much about the content. The idea is that you can always go back and edit the content later, but that it is important to just get used to getting the words down. Like any discipline, a habit needs to be formed by regular, repetition of achievable tasks. It is apparently a well known problem for research students to do too much reading before they begin to write, and I have already fallen well into this trap. By practising ‘freewriting’ it is claimed that you can quite quickly develop your writing to the point where you can write 1000 words in an hour. They may not be the best 1000 words you can write, but that is not the point. Blogging would seem to be the ideal format to practice, if I wasn’t so concerned about what other people thought.
The other thing that I clearly need to improve on is just blocking out periods of time dedicated to research and writing. I need to turn the phone off, turn off internet access, shut the study door, ensure peace and quiet, and get on with it. I need to train my brain to switch off about other responsibilities, like worship leading or sermon writing, and crack on with the main thing that I want to be giving my time to. Any thoughts on how I can improve on this?
Anyway, that was a bit of a bash at ‘freewriting’, on the subject of writing. Maybe I’ll post it on my blog. Maybe I won’t. Now back to the election, or should I go to bed?
I do have a passion for study. I love reading, and I could read and read and read until the cows come home. I take copious amounts of notes, and stroke my chin, and ponder, and think, but when it comes to putting my fingers on the keyboard and opening up that blank document and actually beginning to put down my own thoughts, I almost invariably struggle. I say almost invariably because there are moments, all too rare, and usually last minute, driven by deadlines, when I can knuckle down and knock out a few thousand words. Come to think of it, I must have knocked out getting on for 100,000 words or so over the last 5 years or so. And, if I’m honest, for most of those words I have had pretty good feedback, reasonable grades etc. So why do I still find it so difficult?
I think there are two main contributing factors. The first, and by far the biggest, is confidence. Or lack of. In the same way I often find it difficult to articulate myself in speaking, if I’m in a group I’m quite often likely to be one of the quieter members, I tend to have to think quite carefully about what I want to say, or write, rather than just ‘let it flow’. I still struggle with preaching, although I’ve done it many times, I always get incredibly nervous. I sweat over the preparation, struggle to focus on anything else for about a week before, and generally cack it until it’s delivered. I think there is something psychological which goes on where I become more concerned with the fact that I am supposed to come up with the words, than with focussing on just getting on with speaking or writing.
The second main factor is lack of focus. Whether it’s blogs, email, websites, other books that I’m reading or whatever, there are always a million and one things which clamour for my attention. I know this is the same for everyone these days. We have a short attention span, or rather, we have a broad attention span. Writing takes focus, and it takes discipline, both of which I have in short supply. What can be done about this?
One practice that has been recommended to me is ‘freewriting’. That is, just practising writing, for set amounts of time, not worrying too much about the content. The idea is that you can always go back and edit the content later, but that it is important to just get used to getting the words down. Like any discipline, a habit needs to be formed by regular, repetition of achievable tasks. It is apparently a well known problem for research students to do too much reading before they begin to write, and I have already fallen well into this trap. By practising ‘freewriting’ it is claimed that you can quite quickly develop your writing to the point where you can write 1000 words in an hour. They may not be the best 1000 words you can write, but that is not the point. Blogging would seem to be the ideal format to practice, if I wasn’t so concerned about what other people thought.
The other thing that I clearly need to improve on is just blocking out periods of time dedicated to research and writing. I need to turn the phone off, turn off internet access, shut the study door, ensure peace and quiet, and get on with it. I need to train my brain to switch off about other responsibilities, like worship leading or sermon writing, and crack on with the main thing that I want to be giving my time to. Any thoughts on how I can improve on this?
Anyway, that was a bit of a bash at ‘freewriting’, on the subject of writing. Maybe I’ll post it on my blog. Maybe I won’t. Now back to the election, or should I go to bed?
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