Sunday, February 13, 2005

Lent Day 5

How not to lead sung worship.
1. Turn up to church late, and a bit stressed.
2. Rush around trying to find microphone stands and lecturns etc.
3. Forget the words and chords to one of the songs you're intending to play, hence having to scribble them down a few minutes before the start. Get more stressed
4. Make sure you don't get time to pray before the service begins.
5. Ensure the microphone stand gets moved around until it is in a position where if you are singing into it, you can't quite see the words/chords.
6. Have the PA turned up nice and loud so you can hear your guitar strumming right in your ear but can't quite hear yourself sing
7. Get quite enthusiastic with your strumming, snap a string. Get incredibly stressed.
8. Continue to play and sing, never quite working out which string has gone, and hense hitting as many duff notes as possible. (see 6)
9. Take your eyes off God, 'cos it's all about looking good after all isn't it :)
10. Try to retain some semblance of piety while in your head you are picturing yourself doing this with your guitar :

or maybe this :


11. Pray to God that the ground will open up and swallow you.
12. Snap at your pastor when he asks you to put on some chilled out music later on in the service and then doesn't like your choice.
13. Go home in a foul mood.

ever have one of those 'church' mornings?
This evening we had an awesome bible study on Hebrews. 'For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathise with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are.' Thankyou Lord, I need your mercy and grace, forgive me for being such a muppet.

1 comment:

the reverend mommy said...

Oooo! Been there. More than once -- but without a guitar. Not fun. Heh -- not worship.
Good post.